Thursday, June 20, 2013

That time I felt like a bad mom...

As I new mom, I find myself at the butt end of advice much of the time. I mean, why not? This is supposed to be a whole new, scary, life altering event that I know nothing about.

Being the youngest girl in my family, I have been blessed with a beautiful neice (who if officially a middle schooler!) and the cutest littel nephew I could ever ask for. Also, since I was pretty much my mom's shaddow growing up, I've been around babies and have always loved caring and playing with them.

Last year, I was blessed with a beautiful daughter.  I have never felt so proud, happy and humble at the same time. 

When it comes to my baby, advice is always welcome.  No one knows everything about raising children and research/information is always changing.  For example, the statistics for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome has steadily declined over the last 30 years.  There is so much more information on what we can do to decrease the risks. The way we care for babies today is not the same as 30 years ago.  I'm not saying it's better or worse, it's just different because of the information available to us now.  I take advice with a grain of salt and a smile. 

That is until the ugly face of judgement appears.  Each mom has their own way of doing things.  None is better than the other, you just have to do what you believe is best for your family.

When my daughter was a newborn, people would say that I hold her too much and that's why she wakes up when I try to put her down.  They said she was getting too used to the arms and that I should have mercy on whoever has to watch her when I'm away.  I felt like a bad mom.

My daughter co-slept with me until she was 6 months old.  When I was pregnant and told people that I planned to co-sleep, the response I got was "Oh, you'll find what's comfortable for you when the baby comes".  Okay, what is that supposed to mean?  Every time I saw certain people, it would be "Is she using her crib yet?"  I felt like a bad mom.

Thankfully my mother has always been so supportive of my decisions and parenting style.  I have also made some mommy blogger friends who have given me more confidence to do what I think is best for my family and not care what others think/say.

Today, I still hold my baby until she falls asleep, and contrary to what other people have said, she sleeps in her crib throughout the night and loves to sit by herself and play with her toys.

I just wanted to take this time to remind ourselves not to judge other mothers.  We are all in this together, doing the best we can for the people we love the most.  What didn't work for you and your family might help another.  So pat yourself on the back and enjoy the life that you've been blessed with.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. I just ran across this post today. As a new mom to a 4 month old teether, I was at my breaking point of "other people's advice" today. Your post was perfect.


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